Checklist Jokes

From: jaffo@onramp. net (Jaffo)
Newsgroups: alt. politics. jaffo,[...]
Subject: Jaffo's Annual Christmas Communist Checklist!
Keywords: hat tree brick rock wink prostate Dole corrugated firm bouncy happy cat woof cobble freak hectare moo
In alt. politics. jaffo, on 16 Dec 1996 13: 04: 09 -0700, you wrote:
: The second one. Nail those toon bastards to the wall. They're all: Communists you know. Ever notice why Bart and Lisa Simpson both are: always wearing RED? ALWAYS?
Which brings me to my annual Christmas rant.
AHEM.


I have a little quiz. Not a quiz, really, in fact this is Jaffo's Annual Christmas Communist Checklist.
Wears red.
Wears conspicuous cold weather clothing. (Gets mighty cold in SIBERIA!)
Infiltrates the homes of hard-working Americans.
Favors the redistribution of wealth in the form of colorfully-wrapped presents.
Distributes COMMUNIST propaganda, teaching our children that if they just more...

Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not, is something the majority of men would rather not question in case they discovered that she has been all along, and that they are not in fact the stud they thought women go wild for, but rather a pathetic creature with a problem, who needs to be patronized.
For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but would still like to know, there is a simple checklist to help you.
1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the moment it sounds as though she is about to have an orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she's been looking. If she says, "Dammit, I was reading that!" she was faking it.
2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune, or sound like a familiar song, she can't be concentrating enough on the job at hand, and must therefore be faking it. Or else she really likes the song playing on her iPod.
3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is: stop at random and record her response. If more...