Cheek Jokes / Recent Jokes

Who Made You?
Five year old Emma was sitting on her grandfather David’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, Emma would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch David’s wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally Emma spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, darling," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, sweetheart," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, Emma observed, "God`s getting better at it, isn`t he?"

Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days," when Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first
started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?"
Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.
With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?"
Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?"
Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"
Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"

So … the other day, my friends and I went to this “Ladies Night Club. ”
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10 bill. The “dancer” came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and put it on his butt cheek.
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his other butt cheek. Still attempting to impress the rest of us, my other friend pulls out a $50 bill. She calls the guy back over again, licks the $50 bill and again puts it on one of his butt cheeks. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do to top that?
I got out my wallet, thought for a minute … and then the financial analyst in me took over. I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ass, grabbed the $80 bucks and went home!

A man gets on a plane with his dog.
"You can't bring a dog on this plane", says the stewardess!
"But this dog is special," says the passenger, "he's a sniffer dog."
"Prove it", says the stewardess.
The man clicks his fingers and the dog runs off down the plane. After a minute, the dog reappears, jumps on his lap, and licks his left cheek.
"What's that mean?" says the stewardess.
"It means there's drugs on board." says the man.
"What else can he do?"
The man clicks his fingers & the dog runs off again.
He reappears, & jumps up and licks his right cheek.
"What's that mean?" says the stewardess.
"It means there's a gun aboard," says the man.
"Oh dear!" says the stewardess. That's a bit more serious. "Can he do anything else?"
The man sends the dog off again. This time, he comes racing back, jumps up onto his seat, and craps all more...

Wat does one cheek say to the other cheek?
How come we are the ones that always flirt and the one in the front is who gets all the fun.

This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, "You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?" The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?" "Well, I've got a hardon, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.

The other day, my friends and I went to a ladies night club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulled out a $20 bill. She called the guy back over, licked the $20 bill, and stuck it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulled out a $50 bill and called the guy over. I was worried about the way things were going, but she licked the bill and just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things were going, the guy gyrated over to me! Now everyone's attention was focused on me, and the guy was egging me on to try and top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his behind, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home.