Cheers Jokes

Norm Peterson's Famous Quotes (from TV's' Cheers')
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' Can I draw you a beer, Norm? '
' No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.'

' How's a beer sound, Norm?'
' I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.'

' What's shaking, Norm?'
' All four cheeks and a couple of chins.'

' What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?'
' Going Down?'

' What's new, Normie?'
' Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're
demanding beer.'

' What'll it be, Normie?'
' Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.'

' What would you say to a beer, Normie?'
' Daddy wuvs you.'

' What'd you like, Normie?'
' A reason to live. Give me another beer.'

' What'll you have, Normie?'
' Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a
glass of whatever comes out more...

On the subject of Cheers, my favorite setup occurred as follows:
Diane comes in to Cheers and the gang virtually ignores her. Then Norm walks in.
Gang: NORM!!!
Norm: Hello everybody.
Diane: How come you guys can't do that when I walk in?
Sam: You know, you're right Diane. Walk out and come back in.
Diane walks out and then comes back in.
Gang: NORM!!!

Once upon a time in China, there was a wedding dinner. The dinner occupies only half the restaurant. The other half was occupied by some Caucasian tourists. As the wedding couples hop from table to table to toast the guests, the cheers of' GAN BEI' (happy & joyous drinking) gets louder and louder. One Caucasian gets more and more irritated as the couple get closer to him.' GAN BEI......... GAN......... BEI.........!!!' the cheers continued. Finally, the irritated Caucasian couldn't take it anymore. He stood up on his chair and shouted,' IF YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR U!'

Once Upon A Time There Was An Archery Contest.

The First Archer, Wearing A Long Cape Covering His Face, Lines Up In Position...

He Takes A Deep Breath And Fires An Arrow, Which Finds The Center Of The Target.

Then He Takes Of His Cape And Screams: I Am...... Robin Hood! !! The Crowd Cheers!

The Second Archer With A Cape Lines Up In Position.

He Fires His Arrow, Which Hits The Center And Cuts Robin Hood's Arrow Into Two! !!

He Takes Off His Cape And Screams: I Am...... William Tell! !!!!! The Crowd Cheers! !

Finally Our Santa In Cape Lines Up In Position... He Fires His Arrow But It Goes All Wrong!

It Flies Past The Crowd And Kills The King! !! Then The Man Takes Off His Cape And Screams: I Am...... Sorry!

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead more...