Chef Jokes

A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm's
senior chef had passed away unexpectedly.
"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client on the phone.
"I am very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night," the receptionist
answered.
"Is Mr. Smith there?" repeated the client.
The receptionist was perplexed, "Perhaps you did not understand me. I am
afraid Mr. Smith passed away last night."
"Is Mr. Smith there?" asked the client again.
"Madam, do you understand what I am saying?" said the exasperated
receptionist, "Mr. Smith is dead."
"I understand you perfectly," the client sighed, "I just cannot hear it
often enough."

Then there's the chef who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot. He was shut down by the health department.

8. "What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren't enough for you, tubby?" 7. "Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops." 6. "Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt." 5. "Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan." 4. "Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume chef's bodily fluids." 3. "Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application." 2. "Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck." 1. "Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup."

Find two straws, preferably with wide tubes. Insert into your nostrils. Inhale your food.
Don't go to the dining hall. Live there and never leave. When people come in, harass for news of the outside world and tell them how the dining hall needs new ketchup.
Before eating, say grace. Punctuate by slamming your face into your food.
After obtaining your food, proceed to throw it out the nearest window. Turn to the person nearest to you and say, "Wow! Did you ever see [name of dish] fly like that before?"
Hide behind the milk dispenser. Moo every time someone gets milk.
Go up to the server and ask to see the chef. After he/she is introduced, request an off-the-menu meal consisting of lightly blackened escargot, a simmering seafood bisque, a delicately roasted rack of lamb in a basil cream sauce, and a tart but not sweet dessert of his/her own concoction. When he or she refuses, punch' em and proceed to make this meal yourself.
After finishing your more...

Knock KnockWhos there? Chef! Chef who? Chef Bridges!