Chinese Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are.
"Yes," replied the Chinese man, "Our culture is over 4,000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too."
The Jewish man replied, "Yes, our culture is over 5,000 years old."
The Chinese man was incredulous, "That's impossible, he replied. Where did your people eat for a thousand years?"

There were two good friends (roommates, actually) at a University. One of them was a Chinese and the other was a Jew.
One day they went drinking and had a little too much. Upon staggering back home, they got into some stupid mindless argument. One thing led to another and suddenly the Jewish guy was pummeling the Chinese. Finally, exhausted, the Jewish guy stopped.
The Chinese, black eyes and all, opened one eye with some effort and asked him, "Why did you beat me"?
The Jewish guy replied, "That was for Pearl Harbour".
"But they were Japanese,. .." exclaimed the Chinese.
"Japanese, Chinese, all the same thing", replied the Jewish guy.
Some time went by. Again they went drinking and had a little too much. Once again there was the crazy mindless argument. They broke into a fight as soon as they reached home. This time the Chinese guy had the upper hand and almost did the Jewish guy in.
Finally, winded, the more...

Monday April 5 2010,115 Chinese miners were rescued from a collapsed mine they had been trapped in for 8 days.
Their only food was bark and straw that floated in the water that had flooded the shaft they were trapped in
In related news the Miners have returned to the mine citing better living conditions underground

One day this factory foreman hired 3 guys - a Polish fellow named 'Stosh', a black guy named 'Calvin' and a Chinese man named 'Ling'.
When it came to handing out work assignments, he said "Stosh, you take care of that machine over there. Make sure it has proper materials going it at all times and inspect each finished piece coming out".
Handing Calvin a broom, he said "Calvin, make sure this place is clean at all times. Sweep up anything that falls on the floor."
So Ling asked what HE was supposed to do and the foreman said "You're in charge of supplies" and went back to his office.
A little while later, he emerged from behind his desk to see how his new charges were doing.
Stosh was busily tending his machine and Calvin was sweeping up every piece of litter in sight. But he did not see Ling anywhere.
He went back to the warehouse - no Ling.
He checked the receiving area - no Ling!
He even went into the men's room - still more...

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor.This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly.WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces! The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH.The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces! The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.The Jewish more...

There where three guys a cowboy a russian and a chinese. Well the chinese was selling cokes then the russian guy comes up and buys one and drinks half of his the chinese guy says " Me chinese me play joke me go pee-pee in your coke" the russian guy goes "yea cool" the cow boy comes up and buys one and drinks half of it. the chinese guy says "me chinese me play joke me go pee-pee in your coke" so the cowboy says " me cowboy me run fast me shoot bullet up your ASS!!!" the chinese guy died from surgery up his ass

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong".