Chirac Jokes

True quote from French President Jacques Chirac: "As far as I`m concerned, war always means failure. Obviously he was speaking for the French!

Bush, Chirac and Saddam went to hell.
Bush wanted to call the US, so he called for one minute and then asked for the cost and he was told $1,000,000, so he paid.
Jacques Chirac wanted to call France so he called for one minute and he asked for the cost and he was told it's $1,000,000, so he paid.
Then Saddam wanted to call Iraq, so he called for ten minutes and he asked for the cost and he was told $10 and he paid it, but Bush and Chirac complained and wanted to know the reason, so the angel told them, "He made a local call."

Chirac said every war means loss, perhaps for France that`s true, for they`ve lost every battle since the days of Waterloo.

Paris (Associated Press) French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur Battalion de Fran?s (French Surrender Battalion) of the? ranger L?on (Foreign Legion) are in the process of shipping out to Iraq where they will assist the elite Iraqi Republican Guards in their inevitable surrender to the overwhelming might of the American and British Armed Forces. "Eet ees important to be haughty and insufferable when surrendering," said General Philippe de Peepee, the Commanding Officer of the Surrender Battalion, who has personally surrendered in more than 200 battles going back to Dien Bien Phu in 1954. "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. Ha, I spit on your filthy American more...

French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq
In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur Battalion de Fran? s (French Surrender Battalion) of the? ranger L? on (Foreign Legion) are in the process of shipping out to Iraq where they will assist the elite Iraqi Republican Guards in their inevitable surrender to the overwhelming might of the American and British Armed Forces.
"Eet ees important to be haughty and insufferable when surrendering," said General Philippe de Peepee, the Commanding Officer of the Surrender Battalion, who has personally surrendered in more than 200 battles going back to Dien Bien Phu in 1954.
"We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. Ha, I spit on your filthy American more...