Cholesterol Jokes / Recent Jokes
In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth.And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of deep.And the Devil said,'It doesn't get any better than this.'
And so God created Man in His own image;
Male and female He created them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman
And saw that they were lean and fit
And God populated earth
withh broccoli and cauliflower and spinach
and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds,
So MAN and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And so the Devil created Fast Food Giants.
And Fast Food Giants brought forth the 99p double cheeseburger.
And Devil said to Man,'You want fries with that?'
And Man said,'Super-size them.'
And Man gain five pounds.
And God said'Why doth thou eat thus?'
I have sent the heart-healthy vegetables
And olive oil with which to cook them.'
But the Devil brought forth chicken fried steak
So big it needed its own platter.
And more...
One Day Dumbo Went To A Store And Asked For A Packet Of Butter. He Was Handed Over The Packet Which Had The Caption
"Cholesterol Free" Written On It. He Paid For The Butter And Was Handed Over The Butter. He Waited For Sometime. On Asking
Him What Else He Wanted, He Replied, "Don't Think I Will Get Fooled By You Shopkeepers, Please Hand Over The Cholesterol
Which The Company Is Giving Free With This Purchase. ”
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man more...
In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And Satan said, "It doesn't get any better than this."
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Then God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good.
And Satan said, "There goes the neighborhood."
And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." So God created Man in His own image; male and female created He them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman more...
Case Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome
Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no. 1, December 1998
Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M. D.
On January 2, 1998, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, presented to my family practice office with complaints of generalized aches and pains, sore red eyes, depression, and general malaise. The patient's face was erythematic, and he was in mild respiratory distress, although his demeanor was jolly. He attributed these symptoms to being "not as young as I used to be, HO! HO! HO!", but thought he should have them checked out. The patient's occupation is delivering presents once a year, on December 25th, to many people worldwide. He flies in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, and gains access to homes via chimneys. He has performed this work for as long as he can remember. Upon examination and ascertaining more...