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Katz's Law:
Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.
Churchill's Commentary on Man:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Sattinger's Law:
It works better if you plug it in.
Cahn's Axiom (aka Alien's Axiom):
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Beckhap's Law:
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Cole's Axiom:
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Jone's Motto:
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The Ultimate Law:
All general statements are false.
Knight's Law:
Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.
Krueger's Observation:
A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.
Benchley's Law of Distinction:
There are two kinds of more...

Katz's Law:Men and women will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.Churchill's Commentary on Man:Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.Sattinger's Law:It works better if you plug it in.Cahn's Axiom (aka Alien's Axiom):When all else fails, read the instructions.Beckhap's Law:Beauty times brains equals a constant.Cole's Axiom:The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.Jone's Motto:Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.The Ultimate Law:All general statements are false.Knight's Law:Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans.Krueger's Observation:A taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order to work for the government.Benchley's Law of Distinction:There are two kinds of people in the world; those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who don't.Harver's Law:A more...

There once was an accountant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made sure that every job she did resulted in a win-win situation. One day while walking down the street she was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself."Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, weve never once had an accountant make it this far and were not really sure what to do with you.""No problem, just let me in." said the accountant. "Well, Id like to, but I have higher orders. What were going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in. " "Actually, I think Ive made up my mind... I prefer to stay in Heaven" "Sorry, we have rules..."And more...

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we`ve never once had an executive make it this far and we`re not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.
"Well, I`d like to, but I have higher orders. What we`re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I`ve made up my mind... I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself more...

The advertisement grabbed my attention right away, Cialis...works for 36 hours and let's you choose the moment. Then I began to wonder...am I supposed to choose the moment first or choose my date first? Is it multiple choice? Will it be an extremely hard choice? How will my crotch feel knowing that the decision making has been taken away from him and is now in the hands of my Cialis influenced brain? If my date doesn't agree with my choice..am I allowed to phone a friend? I put these questions to the test last weekend. I walked up to a woman in the club....radiating my chemically enhanced confidence...and asked her straight up..." ever made it with a guy who can go for 36 hours?" I had her attention and we went back to my place.My Cialis coated brain and I decided on a 2 hour marathon of wild passionate sex....2 minutes into it my crotch lead the mutiny and decided it was close enough. Next time...I'm gonna read the fine print on the box.

George W Bush dies and finally goes down to hell.
Satan is already there waiting for him, with the speech about an eternity of torment and pain, when Bush suddenly turns and says,-hey, cant we come to an agreement? Can we make a deal of some sort for me not to be in as much pain for all eternity?-
So Satan thinks for a bit, and then says -Ok, theres something we can do. Here are 3 doors, behind each of which is a former president of the United States. Now one person there has to leave hell, and you will have to replace the person you choose.-
-Fair enough,- says Bush.
So Satan opens the 1st door and in it is George Washington getting all his teeth kicked out only for them to grow back and get kicked out again.
Bush turns and says, -no, thats too painful-
So Satan opens the 2nd door and Abraham Lincoln is there being tortured by african slaves who he had work on his plantations, and Bush says -no, lets see the last one-
Behind the third door, Bill Clinton, more...

What's brown and white and flops on the beach? A Filipino and a seagull fighting over a fish! What is a Filipino's idea of devastation? It's where you catch de bus. How does a Filipino use "devastation" in a sentence? Hoy auntie, don't you have to go buy your ticket at "DEVASTATION"? (get it the bus station???) What's the difference between select and choose? ? Select is when you pick out something... choose is what Filipinos wear on their feet! !! What do you call a Filipino walking a dog? A vegetarian. What do you get when you cross a Filipino & Hawaiian? Somebody who loves to clean yard but no more land. There are three Santas on the Roof. Which one is the Filipino one? The one in the bunny suit.