Chris Jokes / Recent Jokes

"For Heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in awhile?" Julie whined.
"What?" Chris replied.
"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"
"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said.
"Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.
"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

Knock Knock Who's there? Chris! Chris who? Chrisco'll do you proud everytime!

"For Heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.
"What?" Chris replied.
"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"
"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said.
"Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.
"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

Reports are surfacing that Kate Hudson is officially separating from her husband, Black Crowes' singer, Chris Robinson.
Observers note this is the first divorce for actress Hudson, but the second for Robinson, citing his split with musical relevance sometime in the early 90's.

Singer Chris Brown was sentenced today to 5 years probation and 1400 hours "Labored Community Service" The singer was excited about the community service until his lawyer explained that "No driving around and beating up Prostitutes does not fall into what the judge was thinking as a community service"

After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked!
"If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they'll hate me forever," he thought. So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur. Chris knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he snuck inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes.
A couple of days later Chris and his neighbor saw each other outside."Did you hear that Fluffy died?" the neighbor asked.
"Oh. Uhmm... Sorry to hear that. What happened?" Chris mumbled. The neighbor replied: "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the
day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the more...

Two builders are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Chris: 'I reckon he's an accountant. '
James: ‘No way - he's a stockbroker. '
Chris: ‘He's no stockbroker. A stockbroker wouldn't come in here. '
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Chris and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet, he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Chris: ' 'Scuse me... no offence meant, but me and my mate were wondering what you do for a living.'
Suit: ‘No offence taken. I'm a logical scientist by profession. '
Chris: 'Yeah, so what's that then. '
Suit: 'I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?'
Chris: 'Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens. '
Suit: more...