Christ Jokes / Recent Jokes

How is it that we know Christ was Irish?
Well, he was 33, still lived at home with his Mother, whom he thought was still a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.

Q: Why wasn`t Christ born in France? A: Because they couldn`t find three wise men and a virgin.

Review: The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3. 95 The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetryin which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes andbold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably GreenEggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower WithMommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under thepseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freudin a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two youngchildren understand their own frustrated sexuality. The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through thewindow of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, alarge tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, tauntingthe children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexualyearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to themost unlearned reader, the blatant references to theincestuous relationship the two share more...

A boy is watching television and hears the name Jesus Christ and about the good deeds of Jesus Christ and his greatness. Wondering who Jesus Christ is, he asks his mother. She tells him that she is busy and directs him to his father. His father is also busy and so he goes to his elder brother. His brother kicks him out of the room, because he does not have time to answer his stupid questions. Very curious, he goes downtown and sees a bum in an alley.
He asks the bum, "Who is Jesus Christ?" and the bum replies, "Well, I am."
The boy, not believing the bum, asks for proof. So the bum takes the boy into the bar down the street and takes him inside. They walk up to the bar and the bartender exclaims, "Jesus Christ, are you in here again?"

An elderly nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to try to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them.
She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile asked, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads, shrugged and looked at each other dumbfounded.
One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers asked why.
The worker yelled, "His wife is here with his lunch."

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher
of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the
new student. She asks the class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?"
A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washington was the greatest
man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country." The teacher
replies, "Well...that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking
for." Another young student raises his hand and says, "I think Abraham
Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped
end the civil war."... "Well, that's another good answer, but that is not
the one I was looking for." Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and
says, "I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." The
teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!", she more...

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a smalltown. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use herposition to try to influence the new student. She asks theclass, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?"A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washingtonwas the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Fatherof our country." The teacher replies, "Well...that's a goodanswer, but that's not the answer I am looking for."Another young student raises his hand and says, "I thinkAbraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because hefreed the slaves and helped end the civil war."... "Well, that'sanother good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for."Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, "I thinkJesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." Theteacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!" she says,"that's the answer I was looking for." She more...