Christ Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is girl in school called Mary and she keeps on falling asleep in class. The teacher asks her, "Who is our savior?" A boy behind her pokes her with a pencil. Then Mary yells, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher says, "Good." Then the teacher asks, "Who died on the cross." Then the boy again pokes her. Then Mary yells, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher says, "Good." The teacher asks, " What did Eve do after she had her 23 child." The boy pokes again. Then Mary yells, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'm going to brake it in half.

A man that was drinking all day goes into a bar. He demands a beer and is denied. Yet he keeps asking the bartender. Finally the bartender grabs him and throws him out. Another man is walking by and the man who was thrown out stops him. He says hey I'll bet you 100 dollars that I'm Jesus Christ. The man walking by laughs at him and says make it 500 dollars and you got yourself a bet. The man claiming to be Jesus says come with me into this bar and I'll prove it. So they walk in and sit down at the bar. Suddenly the bartender comes from the back of the bar and sees the man he threw out. Angrily the bartender looks toward the man he just threw out and says Jesus Christ I told you to stay out of here. The man walking by looks amazed and pays the man his 500 dollars.

The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on my back bumper and I'm glad I did.
What an uplifting experience followed. That bumper sticker really worked!!
I found lots of people who loved Jesus.
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy.
He must REALLY love Jesus because pretty soon he leaned out of his window and yelled "JESUS CHRIST!" as loud as he could.
It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO!...JESUS CHRIST!...GO!" Everyone else started honking too, so I leaned out the window and smiled and waved to all those loving people.
There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I heard him yell something about a sunny beach and saw him waving with only his middle finger.
I asked my kids what he meant by that and they laughed more...

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!"
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger more...

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!"Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up more...

Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin!

A guy went to a bar and ordered a drink. He looked around the place and noticed a guy at a corner table with long hair and a beard, dressed in a robe and sandals.
When the bartender brought the drink he asked, “Who does that guy think he is, Jesus Christ? ”
The bartender said, “As a matter of fact that is Jesus Christ. He comes in here some afternoons, drinks a glass of wine and leaves. ”
The guy says, “Well I’d like to buy him a drink. ”
The bar tender said, “Like I said, He just drinks one, but I’ll tell him you offered. ”
The bartender went over and told Jesus of the offer but He declined.
About that time another stranger walked in and sat next to the first guy. He saw Jesus and said something to the first guy about it. The first guy told him the story and how he’d offered a drink but He only drinks one.
About that time Jesus was ready to leave. He walked up to the first guy, extended His hand and said, “Hi, I’m Jesus and more...