Christ Jokes / Recent Jokes
The secular liberals in our country who want to take religion out of the public sphere and turn our children gay would have you believe that separation of Church and State was a concept invented by our founding fathers!
Not so! Our founding fathers had firm fundamentalist beliefs and wanted all Americans to also. Here are some historical facts the ACLU doesn't want you to know:
Did you know that faith in Christ is the only thing that finally got Thomas Jefferson off meth?
Did you know John Adams explored the American wilderness as a missionary, whipping bibles at brown people from the safety of his canoe?
Did you know that at parties, Ben Franklin liked to go on and on about Jesus until people felt awkward?
Did you know Abraham Lincoln used to tour the country lifting weights and breaking boards in half with his bare hands in order to witness to young people about Christ and the evils of interracial dating?
Did you know that George Washington once chopped more...
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on his birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in Heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells' Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!?'"
>>>***************************************************
>>> Honk if you love Jesus
>>>***************************************************
>>>
>>>
>>>The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a
>>>HONK IF YOU LOVE
>>>JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my
>>>car, and I'm really
>>>glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
>>>
>>>I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought
>>>about the Lord, and didn't
>>>notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked!
I
>>>found lots of people
>> >who love Jesus.
>>>
>>>Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY
love
>>>the Lord because
>>>pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as
>>>loud as he could. It was
>>>like a football game with him shouting, "GO more...
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. Onewas a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision uponthat answer.
When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answeredwithout hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked himand he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the samequestion. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chiefthanked the man who then left.
Finally the Sardarji arrived for hisinterview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow."
When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How did theinterview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, more...
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells' Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
How do we know that Christ was Irish?Because he was 33 still lived at home thought his mother was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.
Three wise men were outside the stable and they say lets be quiet cos theres a baby inside. The first wise man walks in and steps on a rake and he says Jesus Christ and Mary says What a lovely name we were gonna call him Albert