Cinema Jokes / Recent Jokes

A MAN appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets. A few minutes later he returned and bought two more.
When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up.
'Aren't you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a little while ago?' she asked, puzzled.
'Yes,' replied Banta Singh plaintively, But there's some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!'

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad, funny kind of movie, you know the type.

In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the movie.

After the movie had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That`s the most amazing thing I`ve ever seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the movie. It`s remarkable!"

"Yeah, it is," said the man. "He hated the book."

In Hartford, Connecticut: it is illegal to cross a street while walking on your hands.
In Ottumwa, Iowa: it is unlawful for a man to wink at any woman that he does not know.
In Los Angeles: you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Illinois: it is illegal to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other animals kept as pets.
In Carmel, New York: a man cannot go outside while wearing a jacket and trousers that do not match.
In St. Louis: it's illegal to sit on the kerb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket.
In Baltimore, Maryland: it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-storey window within the city-limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the cinema.
In Carrizozo, New Mexico: it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face.)
In Michigan: a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
In New York: it is against the law to throw a more...

Yo mama so stupid, when she went to the cinema the security guard said ” sorry no under 17’s allowed” so she went home and got 16 of her friends

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "Im sorry," The girl tells him. "We cant allow animals in the cinema." The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick its head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, "Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!" Agnes whispers back, "Oh, dont worry about it... youve seen one, youve seen them all." Madge says, "I KNOW... but this ones eating my POPCORN!!"