Circle Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" asked the judge.
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles and told them the big circle is your brain before drugs, and the small circle is your brain after drugs," said the first.
"That's admirable," said the judge.
"And you, how did you do?" he asked the secong boy.
"Well, your more...

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat.I throw ALL the money into the air, and what God wants, God takes!"

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,
"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this...
...O...o
...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge.
"And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, more...

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said,"You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?""Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this... O...o...and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," said the judge."And you, how did you do?", he asked the second boy, "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give more...

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of theweekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priestexplained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a fewpaces back and pitched the money towards the circle. Whatlanded in the circle he kept and what landed outside thecircle god kept.The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priestand the money that landed inside the circle god kept.The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the moneyinto the air and what god wants, god takes."

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what they do with the money they receive in the collection plate.
One priest says, "Well, I draw a line on the floor, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands north of the line, I give to God, the rest I keep."
The other priest says, "I do pretty much the same thing... I draw a circle, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands inside the circle, I give to God, and whatever lands outside, I keep."
The rabbi says, "Well, I do the same sort of thing too. I throw all the money up in the air and whatever God grabs, he gets!"

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for
many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes
up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are VERY attracted to
each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols
will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the
pheremones floating around, is just glad to have someone new to
talk to. "This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have three
people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two
people doing 12-hour shifts." The new man is only too happy to
help, and in fact volunteers to do the first shift.
He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the ocean
horizon for any ships. Soon the husband and wife start placing
stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper. The
new man yells down: "Hey, no screwing!" They look at each other
and yell back: "We're not more...