Circle Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do you do so well with girls?" the frustrated sophomore asked his roommate.
"You've got to have a gimmick," the roommate responded. "For instance, I've painted a white circle on the dashboard of my car. My dates always ask about it. From there, I turn the conversation to white things in general, then to abstract white things, like virginity; and after that, it's easy to talk them into it."
"That sounds simple enough," the friend agreed. That evening, he painted a white circle on his dashboard before picking up his date.
"That's rather unique-to have a white circle painted on your dash," the girl said, soon after she got into the car.
"Yes, isn't it?" the young fellow replied. "Do you want to screw?"

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,
"How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 more...

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people more...

A blonde has just got a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, which almost drives the truck over a cliff. The driver then motions for her to pull over, so she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it and not to get out. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He then turns around and sees she is smiling. So he goes to his truck and takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He turns around and now she is laughing.
He is really mad now so he takes his knife back out and slices her tires. He turns around and she is laughing her head off, about to fall down, and he says' 'What are you laughing about?''
And she says "Everytime you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle.''

Two young men were arrested for smoking marijuana and went before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men. I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court on Monday."
Come Monday, the judge asked the first young man how he did over the weekend. "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."
"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"
"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles on a piece of paper - one the size of a silver dollar and the other the size of a dime. I told them, 'The big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.'"
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?"
"Your honor," the second young man began, "I more...

Two young men were picked up by the police for smoking dope and appeared before the judge on Friday.
"You seem like nice young men," the judge said, "and rather than sentence you to jail time, I would like to give you a second chance. This weekend, I want you to go out and show others the evils of drug use and persuade them to give up drugs forever. I will see you both back in court on Monday."
Monday morning they both returned to court. The judge asked the first young man, "How did you do over the weekend?"
"Well, your Honor, I persuaded 23 people to give up drugs forever," he replied.
"23 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?" asked the judge.
"I used a diagram, your honor," he explained. "I drew two circles like this:
O o
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs, and this (the small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's very more...

ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, and what you watch on TV. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in more...