Circle Jokes / Recent Jokes
As governor, Bush got to act ceremonially as a state trooper for a day. While operating a speed trap, Bush pulled over a farmer. He lectured the farmer about his speed and the necessity of obeying laws made by his superiors, and in general threw his weight around. Finally, he got around to writing the ticket, and as he was doing so he kept swatting at some flies that kept buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some trouble with those circle flies there, are ya, sir?"
Bush stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well, yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies."
So the farmer said, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of horses."
Bush said, "Oh," and went back to writing the ticket. After a minute, he stopped and slowly said, "Hey... wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's more...
Morron was driving his mercedes at a furious pace and suddenly hits the car ahead, a maruti, and both come to a complete halt. The maruti's driver, dumbo is furious. He steps out of his car and moves towards morron. He makes a circle on the road and asks morron to stand inside it and dares him to step out of it. He pulls out a rod and breaks the bonnet of the mercedes. He looks back at morron and finds him laughing cunningly. This makes him even more furious and goes about breaking all the windows of the expensive car. Again looking back he finds morron laughing! His anger peaking, dumbo smashes whatever part of the mercedes he can lay hands on. Yet again morron is found smiling. Frustated and tired, dumbo finally asks morron, "what's the matter with you? I have completely torn apart your car and you continue to smile, what's wrong with you?" morron replies, "well, you didn't know... You see, everytime you turned to smash my car, i stepped out of the circle!"
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde "Stand in the circle and DON'T MOVE!".
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh, you think that's funny? Watch this." He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny? " the more...
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this
_ / | | O _ /
and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."
"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd boy)
"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 more...
Soderling, the star college halfback, was taking a math exam. The coach desperately needed him to play in the Syracuse game on Saturday, so the professor agreed to give him an oral exam. "All right," said the prof. "How many degrees are there in a circle?" "Uh, depends," said the boy. "How big is that there circle?"
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of theweekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priestexplained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a fewpaces back and pitched the money towards the circle. Whatlanded in the circle he kept and what landed outside thecircle god kept. The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priestand the money that landed inside the circle god kept. The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the moneyinto the air and what god wants, god takes."
Once a man was going in his car and suddenly he crashed with a very fat lady who was a weight lifting champion.
The lady got very angry and asked the man to come out of the car. She made a circle around the man and asked him not to step out of the circle.
She began to break the car now. When she was breaking the car she looked back and saw that the man was laughing. The same thing happened thrice. Then she very angrily asked the man that why was he still laughing.
The man answered that "when she was breaking the car he had slowly stepped out of the circle."