Cities Jokes / Recent Jokes

(This was posted a week ago in talk.pol.misc, but thought I'd let you
mull it over. It is original writing, and is typical of my callous mode
of social thought which I occasionally fall into.)
Like many people, I have been thinking about the problem of homelessness in
America's cities. Besides the obvious suffering of the homeless people, the
spectacle of raggedly dressed people bent for warmth in the subways and bus
stations of the cities greets visitors with a pronouncedly negative image.
I have struck upon a means of eliminating the privation of the homeless while
lessening the adverse impact they have on the surrounding neighborhoods.
At a cost of about $250 per individual, each can be outfitted with a friendly
Disney character costume. Generous insulation and bright, stain resistant
colors would help to insure that the occupant remains warm inside and cheerful
outside. As there are so many different characters, each more...

he following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Los Angeles Times, November 24:Banning, Blythe and Barstow no longer qualify as "distressed" cities under federal guidelines, nor do Adelanto, Lake Elsinore, or Loma Linda.But Beverly Hills does.According to a new U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development list, Beverly Hills can apply for about $56 million a year in business development grants reserved for small cities suffering "physical and economic distress."

There was this village lost in the depth of the Kumaon hills. No one visited it and none of its inhabitants had gone out to see what the rest of the world looked like. Then suddenly one villager won a lottery which gave him a free ticket to see three big cities of India. The entire village was agog with excitement. They gave their co-villager a pen and a pad and said, "You make a note of whatever you see in everyone of the three cities you visit and come and tell us about it when you return."
The lucky villager was first taken to Delhi and shown the Kutub Minar. In his pad he noted down "Kutub Minar". The next city he went to was Jaipur. There he saw many camels and faithfully recorded "camel". The third city was Ahmedabad where he saw lots of donkeys. He recorded "donkey". When he returned to his village, he told everyone of the wonderful things he had seen. Some months later a camel strayed into the village. They ran to the man who had more...

he following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Los Angeles Times, November 24: Banning, Blythe and Barstow no longer qualify as "distressed" cities under federal guidelines, nor do Adelanto, Lake Elsinore, or Loma Linda. But Beverly Hills does. According to a new U. S. Department of Housing and Urban Development list, Beverly Hills can apply for about $56 million a year in business development grants reserved for small cities suffering "physical and economic distress."

1. How to get rid of nuclear waste:
Sending nuclear waste into the sun is expensive, because of the amount of
energy expended in getting it out of Earth's gravity well, which is most
probably more energy than was obtained from the fuel in the first place.
The best way to get rid of nuclear waste is to put it on the government
surplus list. People will bid on anything if they think they are getting
a good deal. And as for the damage it will cause, frankly do you really
care what happens to people stupid enough to buy something that is clearly
marked "Hazardous Nuclear Waste?"
2. How to fund private space concerns:
This is a twofold problem: first the difficulty with Congress, and second
the lack of funding. Both these problems can be solved in one simple
manner. Make slavery legal again. All the work on the Constitution has
already been done; you merely need repeal the Emancipation Proclamation.
Now, since congressmen more...