Classics Jokes

Dear ya'll:
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve your area on Christmas Eve. Because of recent changes in my union contract renegotiated by North American Elves Local 209, I now serve only eastern Canada, certain areas of Wisconsin and the Michigan Upper Peninsula.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with my replacement, my third cousin by my first wife, from the South Pole, Bubba Claus. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls, but there are a few differences between us, such as:
There is no danger of a Grinch's stealing presents from Bubba Claus, who has a gun rack in his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC and pork skins on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He does dip a little snuff, though, so please have a spit can more...

Dear ya'll:
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve your area on Christmas Eve. Because of recent changes in my union contract renegotiated by North American Elves Local 209, I now serve only eastern Canada, certain areas of Wisconsin and the Michigan Upper Peninsula.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with my replacement, my third cousin by my first wife, from the South Pole, Bubba Claus. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls, but there are a few differences between us, such as: There is no danger of a Grinch's stealing presents from Bubba Claus, who has a gun rack in his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC and pork skins on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He does dip a little snuff, though, so please have a spit can more...

Dear ya'll
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able
to serve your area on Christmas Eve. Because of recent changes in my union
contract renegotiated by North American Elves Local 209, I now serve only
eastern Canada, certain areas of Wisconsin and the Michigan Upper Peninsula.
However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with my
replacement, my third cousin by my first wife, from the South Pole, Bubba
Claus. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls,
but there are a few differences between us, such as:
* There is no danger of a Grinch's stealing presents from Bubba Claus, who has
a gun rack in his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
* Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC
and pork skins on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He does
dip more...