Cliff Jokes / Recent Jokes
The car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop.A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck."Good lord, mister," he gasped, "are you drunk?""Of course," said the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. "What the hell do you think I am...a stunt driver!"
if a blonde and a brunette are on the top of a cliff and they both jump off at the same time, which one will land first?
the brunette cause the blonde would stop and ask for directions!
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. And here’s how it went:
Well ya see Norm, it’s like this…A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.
He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"
Nobody answered him.
He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"
Again nobody answered.
The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish." So the Indian asked again,
"Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"
To which the littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff."
The old Indian then shakes and spanks him, for his punishment. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish, father?"
The old Indian replied, "Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down!!!"
An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"Nobody answered him.He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"Again nobody answered.The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish." So the Indian asked again,"Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"To which the littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff."The old Indian then shakes and spanks him, for his punishment. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish, father?"The old Indian replied, "Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down!!!"
An old Indian lined up all of his ten sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" Nobody answered him.
He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" And again nobody answered.
The old Indian said, "I tell story of Georgie and Georgie father. Georgie chop down cherry tree. Georgie tell truth, Big Georgie no punish. Little Indian tell truth, I no punish." So the Indian asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"
The littlest Indian replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff. "
The old Indian then shakes him, spanks him, does everything he can to punish him. When he is done, the little Indian asks, "Georgie tell truth, Georgie no get punish. I tell truth, I get punished. Why you punish?"
The old Indian replied, "Big Georgie not in cherry tree when it got chopped down."