Climax Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
a) die
a) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

1. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.

1. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i. e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

1. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.

1. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
a) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die).
1. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
a) pots
a) barrels
a) glass bottles, more...

1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
a) die
a) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

1. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

1. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled.

1. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i. e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the first 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

1. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.

1. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
a) run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to more...

How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have. LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot. MARRIAGE - When you argue over money. LOVE - When you share everything you own. LUST - When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. MARRIAGE - What's a climax? LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. LUST - When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks. LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings. LUST - When you more...

Ever wondered what would be in " Titanic " if the same was made by Subhash Ghai.
The name of the movie? " Naav Doobta hai. Pyaar Doobta Nahin". Well here it goes!

1] The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that
have a court scene full of people or a Janta basti full of janta.

2] Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ JJJ Jack. Madhuri's
name would be Phool and Shahrukh's name would be Chakh. (Alphabet "a"
deliberately left out)

3] The Titanic would be sailing from Madh Island to the Gateway of India.

4] Madhuri would be dancing in the rain with Shahrukh in tow.

5] Rose's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "bad man" everytime
he sees Shahrukh.

6] Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom AaBaap Singh on the ship.
Shahrukh also gets his sister nanhi gudiya.

7] The movie more...

It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.
You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times.
"But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"
The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!
And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.
What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.
Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.
Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite the weatherSmurf's direst predictions.
I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.
In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village more...