Climb Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man is in a garden, when a ladder comes down from the heavens. He hears an unearthly voice saying: "Climb the ladder to success". So he goes up, and after a while, there's a really ugly woman on a landing on the side of the ladder. She says to him: "Fuck me or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but decides he rather have success.
He goes up, and sees two quite nice women sitting on a landing on the side. "Fuck us or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but decides its not worth it.
He goes up again, and there are three really beautiful women on the next landing. "Fuck us or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but realises that the women are getting much more beautiful, younger, and are increasing in number as he climbs the ladder. So he climbs the ladder, and reaches the top.
Theres a young man sitting there. "Hi, I'm Cess."

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby.
For whatever reason, she decided to do it.
When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her:
“Don’t you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear? ”
The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and naive, and decided to show those boys a thing or two.
The next day, they repeated their request, and when she came home she was beaming.
“What are you so happy about? ” asked her mother.
“I totally showed them. Today I didn’t even WEAR underwear! ”

This is Army policy all begins…
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.
Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water.
Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the more...

A man is in the hospital and he gets a hard on and it is 6 feet in the air. So he hits the button for the nurse. She finally comes in and he tells her there is a fly on the end of his dick and he can't reach it. So she tries and can't reach it. So she finally decides to climb it so she climbs and is almost st the top and she slides all the way down. She tries again and slides back down. Ny now she is getting frustrated and tries again. And she slides back down. She tells the man she will try 1 more time and he says " nurse, if you climb your sweet ass up one more time I will shoot that sonovabitch off

How to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Submitted By Niels Kristian JensenGo to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you amuffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant willbe happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants likemuffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffinwithout rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant findsout that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.

Three generals, one from the Army, another from the Marines, and a third from the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.
To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing' Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"
"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.
The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.
"Ah, that's nothing," says the Admiral, "Seaman!" A seaman appears, "YES, SIR!!" "Take this weapon," as he offers him an M14, "Scale that flagpole, balance yourself on top, stand at attention, present arms, and sing' Anchors Aweigh.' Salute each of us, and jump off.
"YES SIR!!" replies the seaman. He sprints for more...

In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks
1. [xxx] is not food.
Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human’s homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fish toy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Mom’s toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cat’s vomited food.
2. I will not jump on the [xxx].
kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my human’s full bladder at 5: 30 A. M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night.
3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx].
sofa, carpet, drapes, my human’s leg, my human’s boss’s leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires.
4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx].
floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human’s more...