Climber Jokes / Recent Jokes
There are three kinds of mathematicians: those who can count and those who
cannot.
A statistician can have his head in an oven and his feet in ice, and he will say
that on the average he feels fine.
Ya' hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch the rays and became a
tangent?
A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a
doughnut?
97.3% of all statistics are made up.
My geometry teacher was sometimes acute, and sometimes obtuse, but he was always
right!
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions!
Q & A
Q. Did you hear about the statistition?
A. Probably...!
Q. What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of choice?
A. Zorn's Lemon!
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?
A. Elephant banana sine theta in a direction mutually perpendicular to the two
as determined by the right hand rule!
Q. What do you get if you cross more...
Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments. Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant? A: Wipe it off! Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants? A: None of the offspring survived. Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying down in tall grass? A: VERY attractive. Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you're yard? A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag! Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road? A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung). Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road? A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!". Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes |elephant| |grape| 1 Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber? A: Zero - a mountain climber is a scaler. Q: What do you more...
Four hockey fans are mountain climbing.
Each climber happens to be a rabid fan of a different NHL team.
As they climb higher and higher, they argue more and more about which of them is the most loyal to their particular team. Finally, as they reach the summit, the climber from Detroit takes a running leap and throws himself off the mountain, yelling, “This is for the Detroit Red Wings. ”
Not wanting to be outdone, the climber from St. Louis throws himself off the mountain, shouting, “This is for the St. Louis Blues. ”
Seeing this, the Ottawa climber walks to the edge and yells, “This is for hockey fans everywhere! ” He then pushes the fan from Toronto off.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant?
A: Wipe it off!
Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants?
A: None of the offspring survived.
Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying down in tall grass?
A: VERY attractive.
Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you're yard?
A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag!
Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).
Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes |elephant| |grape| 1
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain more...
Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant? A: Wipe it off! Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants? A: None of the offspring survived.Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying down in tall grass? A: VERY attractive.Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you're yard? A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag! Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road? A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road? A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes elephant grape 1Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber? A: Zero - a mountain climber is a scaler.Q: What do you give a seasick more...