Clothes Jokes / Recent Jokes

*Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn't do it anymore.*Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.*The average 10-year-old doesn't have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are.*Being bad is no longer cool.*You have friends who have kids.*Saturday mornings are for sleeping.*You are taller than the slide at the McDonald's playland.*Your parents' jokes are now funny.*You once said, "What-chu talkin'' bout Willis?" *You have owned, and since disowned, Michael Jackson's "Thriller."*You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, cuz mom is not there to do your laundry anymore.*Naps are good.*You once deemed Space Invaders as "The best game ever."*When things go wrong, you can't just yell, "Do-over!"*You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.*You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd.*You want clothes for Christmas.*You don't want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.*You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the more...

A radio station routinely paid money for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. Here was one of the winners:
I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologists when early one morning I received a call from his office: I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30am. I had just packed everyone off to work and school and it was around 8:45 already.
The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room only a few more...

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,' Take what you want.'"

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Dearest Darling Son and That Person You Married, Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry about poor old me. I'm just fine considering I can't breathe, or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your lonely ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my Grandchildren. Lord knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies. But then, I guess you two do save a lot of money shopping for their clothes at the Salvation Army surplus stores and all. Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral, so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would never let you come. Why, I more...

Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.

Farmer John was taking his cow and it's newborn calf to sell in the auction. On the way farmer John got robbed by thieves, who beat him up, stripped him of his clothes and tied him to a tree. Then taking the mother cow and John's clothes, the thieves escaped. They, however, left the newborn calf behind.
Poor farmer John suffered as for two days, he stood tied to a tree, stark naked and hungry. Fortunately, on the third day, some neighbors happened to pass by. They recognized John and untied him.
When they did, farmer John picked up a long stick and started whipping the calf with it.
'Why are you thrashing the poor calf?' his neighbors asked?
To which farmer John replied, 'I had to tell this beast for the past two days repeatedly...I am NOT your mother! I am NOT your mother!!!

If you were born between 1940 and 1950, this is for you!. ... If not, pass it on to someone who was.: )) We were born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, xerox, contact lenses, frisbees and the PILL. We were born before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ball-point pens. .. before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electricblankets, air-conditioners, drip-dry clothes -- and before man walked on themoon. We got married first -- and THEN lived together. How quaint can you be??

In our time, closets were for clothes, not for "coming out" of. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagons. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeannie. And having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins. We thought fast food was what we ate during lent, and Outer Space was the back of the Riviera Theatre. We were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers and computer more...