Clothes Jokes / Recent Jokes

(I don't know if this is true, but I laughed at it..)
A radio station routinely paid money for people to tell their most
embarrassing stories. Here was one of the winners.
I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynecologist when
early one morning I received a call from his office: I had been rescheduled
for early that morning at 9: 30am. I has just packed everyone off to work and
school and it was around 8: 45 already.
The trip usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to
spare. As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort
over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be
able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing
gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in
front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I was presentable.
I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some more...

Two engineering students were crossing the campus. One said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Two engineering students were riding across campus when one said, "Where did you
get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own
business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the
ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."

Yo Mama is so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Two engineering students were riding across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

A woman goes to the optometrist.
"Mrs Mail!"
She goes into the room. The doctor tells her to take her clothes off. So she does. She then lies down and parts her legs, as the docter told her to do.
He then starts to undress himself and lays on top of her, and starts massaging her breasts and going up and down. After a while, he stops. "So, do I need glasses?"
"No. You may put your clothes back on now."
When she walks out into the street, she slams right into a pole, having not seen it.
"What a rip off!"