Clubs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole he proceeds to splash five balls in a row into the water.Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course.Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs.When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course.One of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?"He responds, "I left my car keys in the bag."

A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole he proceeds to splash five balls in a row into the water.
Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course.
Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs.
When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course.
One of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?"
He responds, "I left my car keys in the bag."

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
true?
A: How could that be true? Your heart is only good for so many beats,
and that's it. Everything wears out eventually, so how could speeding
up your heart make you live longer? That's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it more. Want to live longer? Take a
nap.
Q: Both my wife and my girlfriend say I should cut down on meat and
eat more fruits and vegetables.
A: They just don't grasp logistical efficiencies the way you do.
Look, what does a cow eat? Corn. And what's corn? A vegetable. So a
steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass. And a more...

Two aliens were visiting Earth to research the local customs.
They split up so that they could learn more in the time allowed.
When they met to share their knowledge, the first alien told of a religious ceremony it had seen.
"I went to a large green field shaped like a meteorite crater. Around the edges, several thousand worshippers gathered. Then two priests walk to the centre of the field to a rectangular area and hammer six spears into the ground, three at each end. Then eleven more priests walk out, clad in white robes. Then two high priests wielding clubs walk to the centre and one of the other priests starts throwing a red orb at the ones with the clubs."
"Gee," replied the other alien, "what happens next?"
"Then it begins to rain."