Coach Jokes / Recent Jokes

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there."Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department.""Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look."He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath."You're not there, sir," he reported."Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
(via Aiken Drum, Rodney & Cathy, HorridScopes)

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. ”
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. ” The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to more...

High school football coach Dan Lawrence received a one-game suspension under a new Connecticut rule because his team won by over 50 points.
Former Senator Lieberman explained the rule was inacted to discourage the losing side from excessive whining.
When asked what he thought about a team winning by over 50 points, basketball coach, Billy Tubbs, called this "Point-shaving."

RECOUNT DEMANDED BY METSNEW YORK (AP) --The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union. "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been denied our right to hit." One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches. Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact more...

There was a Sardarji who was running a business at Delhi with branch offices at Ambala and Amritsar. One day he decided to visit his branch offices, and boarded a night train. He kept himself awake till 2 a. m., and when the train reached Ambala at 2. 20 a. m., he was fast asleep and woke up only when the train reached Amristar. He was unhappy, but decided to visit Ambala on his way back to Delhi. Again he boarded a night train, and kept himself awake till 3 a. m., but when the train reached Ambala at 3. 30 a. m., he was fast asleep, and woke up only when the train was steaming into Delhi. This happened three to four times. He was either landing up at Delhi or at Amritsar, always missing Ambala by sleeping off. So naturally he got worried.
He narrated his problem to a close friend who said, "You are a rich man, so why don't you travel by 1st class. The coach attendant will wake you up, a little before Ambala, and you can travel in comfort." The advice was logical, and more...

I heard this from a Welsh friend of mine,
Peter Gardiner, who lives in London.
It is the wedding day of Prince Charles and
Lady Di. Charles had been up late the night
before boozing with his old Navy buddies,
woke up late, threw on his clothes and rushed
to the Royal Coach and set off. In the coach,
he noticed that he had forgotten his shoes, so
he borrowed the ones his valet was wearing,
but they were 2 sizes too small.
Charles made it through the ceremony, then
through the reception with his feet in agony the
whole time, and finally with great
relief, went upstairs with his new bride.
Their departure was noticed by the Queen and
Queen Mother who followed them up and
listened at the the door. First they heard,
"Ohhh, ohhh, that feels so goood, it was sooo
tight."
"I told you she was," said the Queen to the
Queen Mother.
Then they heard,
"Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh, ahhhh, that feels more...