Coast Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade.
When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college, but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast and the guy went to the west coast.
They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters.
Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.
Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love.
She became annoyed, as she now had a new boyfriend, and she wanted to get him off her back, so she took a Polaroid picture of her having sex with her new boyfriend and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note more...

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college, but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around.

He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and e-mails trying to win back her love. She soon became very annoyed with his persistence and now with a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her more...

A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.
"I always knew God would take care of us," said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.
"I like to hear you say that," beamed the mother. "Always remember that God is in his heaven watching over us."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about that God," the five year old interrupted.
"I was talking about the COAST God."

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothing,'" the beachcomber said.
"Wow," said the tourist.
The beachcomber added, "The sharks got' em."

There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some dicussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn't be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two. After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. "What took you so long?" inquired the Redhead."There were some strong currents out there! But I'm here now! Am I the last?" replied the Brunette."No. Blondie is still out there somewhere." They decided to wait.Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde "What took you so long?""What do you more...

The phone rings in the middle of the night.
Before the wife can get it, her husband answers.
He hears a man's voice asking if the coast is clear.
"Jesus, man " he hollers "how the hell should I know? The ocean's 30 miles east of here."

You Might be a Michigander...
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding...
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake...
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any
sport!)...
If snow tires come standard on all your cars...
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry...
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
If you can identify an Ohio accent...
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town...
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your
bike...
If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder...
If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you
grew up...
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is...
If someone aks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've
been to Ann Arbor"...
If more...