Coffin Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.
Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? A: So you don't have to retrain the cellists.Q: How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo? A: Write 'pp, espressivo'.
Q: What is the difference between a coffin and a condom?
A: One is for going and one is for coming.
Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor, and a businessman, belonging to the same exclusive club had made a pact.
When one dies, they agreed, the others will lay $5, 000 each on his coffin so he''ll have some spending money in the after life.
Well, one day the professor passes away. At his funeral the three friends took turns going up to the coffin and paying their respects.
The doctor was first, laying 50 $100 bills inside the casket.
Next was the businessman, tearfully placing his $5, 000 cash next to his deceased friend.
Then the lawyer approached the coffin. .... wrote out a check for $15, 000. .. laid it in the casket, and picked up the 10 grand in cash.
A funeral procession was winding it's way to the cemetery on top of the hill outside town, when the hearse hit a bump. The coffin was bumped loose, fell out onto the road and began sliding back toward town. (It was a steep hill) It slid faster and faster. Finally, it reached the town and was skidding its way down Main St. Suddenly, at one intersection, the coffin hit a curb, flew onto the sidewalk, smashed through the front glass window of the pharmacy, and slammed up against the prescription counter. The lid popped off, the corpse sat up and said.. "You got anything to stop this coffin?"
Why is a blondes coffin shaped like a Y.
Because everytime she hit her back her legs spread!!!
Q: What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
A: They both hold stiffs, but one's coming and one's going!