Coin Jokes / Recent Jokes
The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and so his mother ran out in the street yelling for help. A man passing by took the boy by his shoulders and hit him with a few strong strokes on the back, and so he coughed the coin out.
"I don't know how to thank you, doc...", his mother started.
"I'm not a doctor", the man replied, "I'm from the IRS".
The blonde reported for her university final examination which consists of “yes/no” type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet yes for heads and no for tails. Within half an hour she is all done where as the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering, sweating and erasing. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. “I finished the exam in half an hour, but I’m rechecking my answers.
An old lady joins a package tour to Europe. Many European restrooms have coin operated stalls. Daiwanlang consider it a virtue to be frugal, and so a group of Daiwan women tourists come up with an idea: by not pulling the door all the way to a lock, then the whole group can all use the same stall one after another on just one coin. To do this, when one woman uses the stall, the next one would spot her right outside. The old lady is the last one in the group to use the stall, and nobody remembers to spot her. Then, a European woman comes in, sees that stall is unlocked and enters. This catches both women by surprise, and the European woman quickly apologizes by saying "I'm sorry." When the old lady is furious when she gets out of the restroom. She says, "You wouldn't believe how rude this white woman was!" "Not only did she open the door on me," "she blamed me for not locking the door!"
1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".
2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.
4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.
5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.
8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".
11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.
12. You can more...
A blonde walks up to a soda machine, puts in a coin and out pops a drink. Totally amazed, she runs to get some more coins and returns to the machine. She quickly begins to feed one coin after the other into the machine and it keeps feeding out drinks.
Suddenly a man who's been standing there waiting taps her on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but could I have a go at the machine, please?"
"Not while I'm on a winning streak!" she replies.
These two men were cellmates at state penitentiary for nine years. One day Larry said to Joe, "You know man its been a long time since we had some sex so you oughta let me fuck you." Joe replied. "Are you crazy?!!" Larrywent on to say, "I promise you that it won't hurt and we'll flip a coin and see who fucks, who first. So, Joe thought about it for a minute and finally agreed. They flipped a coin and Larry won. Still having strong reservation Joe asked, "How will you tell if it hurts or not?" Larry told Joe, "If it hurts you start making animal noises, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing." Larry started the insertion and Joe screamed, Moooooooo. Moooooo. Mooooon River...