Collection Jokes / Recent Jokes
The minister arose to address his congregation. "There is a certain man among us today who is flirting with another man's wife. Unless he puts ten dollars in the collection box, his name will be read from the pulpit."
When the collection plate came in, there were 19 ten dollar bills, and a five dollar bill with this note attached: "Other five on payday."
HERE is a large collection of anecdotes are about the animosity between Catholics and, Protestants: An Irish Protestant who was dangerously ill and believed he was dying sent for a Catholic priest, and was received into the Roman Church. His Protestant friends were horrified and one of them asked him how he could thus forsake the creed for which he had stood all his life and go over to the enemy.' Well/ said the sick man,' it is this way. I said to myself, "If anyone's got to die, better one of their lot than one of our lot."'
You're an 80's child if...
1. You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.
2. You wanted to be on StarSearch. (Come on, we all did)
3. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
4. Or even when he had those freaky eyes in' 'Thriller'' at the end of the video.
5. You wore a banana clip or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth.
6. You wore french rolls on the bottom of your splatter painted jeans.
7. You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.
8. You owned a doll with' Xavier Roberts' signed on it's butt.
9. You knew what Willis was' 'talkin'' bout.''
10. You know the profound meaning of' 'Wax on, Wax off.''
11. You can name at least half of the members of the elite' 'Brat Pack.''
12. You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!!!!!!
13. You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle more...
A guy met a gorgeous girl in a nightclub and after talking for awhile, she invited him back to her place for the night.
When they arrived at her apartment, she took him right into the bedroom. As he looked around, he noticed the room was packed with stuffed animals. There were hundreds of small ones on the bottom shelf of a very large bookcase. The middle shelf held hundreds more medium-sized ones, and the top shelf a huge collection of giant ones.
He was surprised to see that anyone would have such an extensive collection of stuff animals, but decided not to mention it to her.
After hours of lovemaking, he turned to her and asked, "So, tell me, how was I?"
"You can pick any prize from the bottom shelf," she replied.
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.
The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw ALL the money into the air, and what God wants, God takes!"
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.
The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat.
I throw ALL the money into the air, and what God wants, God takes!"
Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat.I throw ALL the money into the air, and what God wants, God takes!"