Color Jokes / Recent Jokes

NEW - Different color from previous design
ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer''s cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn''t understand it
IT''S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY - It''s different from our competitors
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults more...

A guy says to a salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper." She says, "What color?" He says, "Just give me white. I'll color it myself."

You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won't work.
It's really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!
First, get a pen and paper.
Second, write the numbers one through six. Example:
1
2
3
4
5
6
Next to number one, write any number...
Next to number two, write the name of anyone to which you are really attracted...
Next to three, write down the first color you can think of...
Next to number four, write the name of your first pet...
Next to number five and six write down the name of a family member...
Remember... No cheating...
Keep scrolling down...
Don't cheat, or you'll be upset...
Here're the answers...
The number next to number one show how many times you should be smashed over the head with a baseball bat for thinking that stupid things like this actually mean anything...
The person named next to number two is someone who will never have time to sleep with you because you're more...

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your more...

You’re so stupid, your mother told you to go buy a color television and you asked, “What color? ”

A painting cotractor was speaking to a woman about a job. She sad she wanted the first room a pale blue. He wrote it down, went to the window opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP." They walked into the second room and she said she wanted it a soft yellow color. He wrote that down, went to the window opened it and yelled, "GREEN SIDE UP." The woman was curious but didn't say anything. They walked into the third room and she said she wanted a warm rose color. The painter wrote that down and went to the window and opened it, he yelled "GREEN SIDE UP." Finally the woman asked, "why do you keep yelling that out the window?" "I'm sorry," he replied, "but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

NEW - Different color from previous design. ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design. EXCLUSIVE - Imported product. UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition. FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments. ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn`t understand it. IT`S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming. FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment. HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit. FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does. REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope. DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work. BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it. MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix. MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours. HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it