Comedian Jokes

eariler this week i went to the guy who inveted the hokey pokey's funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in, then took his left leg out, they put his left leg in and they shaked it all about.Then they put his right leg in and then his right leg out, they put his left leg in and they shook it all about, and so on and so forth until he was totally in

I was in a good mood last week. I entered a competition and won a years supply of marmite... one jar!

I once met a dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date butunfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

An escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, just "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience."-Mitch Hedberg

Having a dog is great, it's just the 'dog people' that freak me out. "Oh, look at her, she's precious, just like Mommy." Me?!? If I birthed something that had 8 nipples - it ain't leaving the house.