Stand-Up Comedy Jokes

As I understand it, Adam Sandler's new movie "Click" is about a guy with a universal TV controller.
Remotely funny.

Bernie Mac announced he is retiring from stand-up comedy.

After hearing this Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia decided to do the professional thing and divided up his jokes evenly.

My brother said that he thinks Dane Cook's career is just an elaborate ploy to get laid.

I told him that almost everything anybody ever does is part of an elaborate ploy to get laid.

Chinese Americans are upset that Rosie O'Donnell said "Ching Chong" on "The View." Barbara Walters lamented, "Star Jones never would have said that, n*ggers aren't that stupid."

Adam Sandler turns 40 in a few months and the new father says he's ready to shift his focus. Sandler and his wife, Jackie, welcomed their first child, Sadie Madison, last month.
Sandler reports fatherhood is going well, but admits he is not sure if he will be able to answer all of the questions that inquisitive children will surely ask, such as "Why is the sky blue?", "Where do babies come from?", and "Why haven't you made a funny movie since Happy Gilmore?".