Commandments Jokes / Recent Jokes
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His response was: 3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7.
God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill?
We're not interested."
So He went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are."
We're not interested.
Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
"Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal?
We're not interested."
Then He went to the French and said, "I have more...
A Baptist deacon notice the Pastor was agitated one Sunday morning so he asked what was wrong. Turned out some one had stolen the preacher's bicycle. So the deacon said preach the ten commandments and when you get to the one about "thou shalt not steal" really bear down hard and maybe the thief will hear about it and return your bike. So the preacher preached. But he didn't emphasize any one commandment more than the others. After the sermon his deacon buddy asked why he didn't emphasize the one on stealing. The reverend said "When I got to "thou shalt not commit adultery" I remembered where I left my bike."
COWS: Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that the United States government can track a cow born nearly three years ago in Canada, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And then track her calves right to their current stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each one a cow.THE CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart
guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.THE TEN COMMANDMENTS: The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of 6 year olds.
After she explained the Commandment, 'honor thy father and thy mother', she asked, "Boys and girls, is there a Commandment that teaches all of us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without hesitating, Billy stood up and answered, "Thou shalt not kill!"
This is the little-known tale of how God came to give the Jews the Ten Commandments.God first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment. "What's a commandment?" they asked. "Well, it's like, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied God. The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way. That would ruin our weekends."So then God went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, "What's a commandment?" "Well," said God, "it's like, THOU SHALT NOT STEAL." The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."So finally God went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "How much?" God said, "They're free." The Jews said, "Great! We'll take TEN!"