Committed Jokes / Recent Jokes
Santa Joined The Priest And Then Followed Him Into The Confessional. A Few Minutes Later A Woman Came In And Said "Father, Forgive Me For I Have Sinned"
Priest: "What Did You Do?"
Woman: " I Committed Adultery"
Priest: "How Many Times?"
Woman: "Three Times"
Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, Put $ 5. 00 In The Charity Box, And Sin No More"
A Few Minutes Later A Man Entered The Confessional. He Said
"Father, Forgive Me For I Have Sinned"
Priest: "What Did You Do?"
Man: "I Committed Adultery"
Priest: "How Many Times?"
Man: "Three Times"
Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, Put $ 5. 00 In The Charity Box, And Sin No More"
Santa, A Quick Learner, Told The Priest That He Understood The Job And The Priest Could Leave.
Santa more...
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?
Some ground rules to help people determine if the sex counted. This list of rules can also be very helpful to determine if you have cheated on your spouse or significant other.
1. Oral Sex does not count.
2. If you can't remember the person's name the following day, doesn't count.
3. If you failed to call the person back to have more sex, doesn't count.
4. If neither of you achieved orgasm, doesn't count.
5. Sex with a friend, doesn't count, it's just another thing you share.
6. If the act was so lame, you leave thinking "Did I shave my legs for this", doesn't count.
7. An old flame, doesn't count.
8. An ex-spouse, doesn't count, refer to this as a "pity fuck".
9. Masturbating in front of someone while they do the same, sorry, not sex.
10. Cyber-sex - NO WAY - this is glorified masturbation.
11. 2 heterosexual women having fun, not more...
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. more...
THE TOUGHEST DECISION: SHOULD MY LOVED ONE BE PLACED IN AN ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY?
For family members, it is often the most difficult and painful decision they will face: to accept that a loved one - a parent, a spouse, perhaps a sibling - is technologically impaired and should no longer be allowed to live independently, or come near a computer or electronic device without direct supervision. The time has come to place that loved one into the care of an Assisted Computing Facility. But you have questions. So many questions.
We at Silicon Pines want to help.
WHAT EXACTLY IS AN "ASSISTED COMPUTING FACILITY"?
Sometimes referred to as "Homes for the Technologically Infirm," "Technical Invalid Care Centers," or "Homes for the Technically Challenged," Assisted Computing Facilities (ACFs) are modeled on assisted living facilities, and provide a safe, structured residential environment for those unable to handle even the most more...
A Catholic priest was manning a confession booth for several hours and wanted relief. He asked his friend the rabbi to fill in for him. When the rabbi said he had no experience, he asked the rabbi to stay with him in the booth and observe what he did. The rabbi obliged.
A man confessed that he committed adultery 3 times. The priest told him to say 2 hail marys and put $5 in the box. Next, a woman told the priest he committed adultery times. The priest repeated his instructions. The rabbi then said he knew what to do and could take over.
Afterwards, a different woman came around and confessed to the rabbi that she committed adultery. The rabbi asked how many times. The woman said she did it once. The rabbi responded:
"Do it 2 more times. We're having a special. Three for five dollars".