Committee Jokes / Recent Jokes
Committee: a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
A priest dies and goes to heaven. There, he is met by a reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.
He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading Version" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the priest huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An "R"! They left out the' R'."
God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the priest sobs again, "It's the letter "R". .. the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"
The Republican National Committee has voted to recognize the H1N1 virus as the French Flu.
The Democratic National Committee has voted to recognize the H1N1 virus as the Bush Flu.
REDMOND, WA - Microsoft concluded negotiations today to acquire the People's Republic of China, sources close to CEO Bill Gates revealed. The deal, valued in the billions, will cede control of the most populous nation in the world to the Gengis Kahn of the computer world.
The newly formed corporate state will be known as Microsoft China, and will include the newly merged city of Hong Kong. "We see this acquisition as being very positive for Microsoft" a spokesman stated this morning at a dim sum breakfast for the media. "Not only do we aquire a vast workforce to manufacture our products world-wide. Thanks to years of conditioning by the Central Committee, we can also tell them as consumers what to buy!"
The Central Committee will receive shares of Microsoft common stock, and be relocated to the Microsoft People's Recreational Camp located outside Henderson, Nevada. Microsoft will assume control of the Chinese bureaucracy.
Rumours of Bill Gates elevating more...
Sing the song below to the tune of "Summer Lovin'" from the musical "Grease".
Bill: "Summer intern, had me a blast"
Monica: "White house intern, happened so fast"
Bill: "Met a girl, crazy for me"
Monica: "Met the prez, down on my knees"
Bill: "Summer days, sucking away, oh, i, but those summer nights"
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, ah.... well, ah. uh Tell us more, tell us more"
Linda Trip: "try to remember your best"
Investigation Committee: "Tell us more, tell us more"
Kenneth Star: "Did he come on your dress?"
Bill: "Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp"
Monica: "The prez is sexy - he makes my panties damp"
Bill: "She gave me head, right in the White House"
Monica: "I said OK, just don't come in my mouth:
Investigation Committee: "Well, ah.. well, more...
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.