Computing Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?" "They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out more...
Computer Illiterate Support Call
' Hello, Support Desk, may I help you?'
'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
'What sort of trouble?'
'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
'Went away?'
'They disappeared.'
'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
'Nothing.'
'Nothing?'
'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
'How do I tell?'
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]' Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'
'What's a sea-prompt?'
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]' Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'
'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I more...
The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog.
The man will be there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to keep the man from touching the computers.
Re: Vacation
Pay Date: January 5, 2000
Dear Valued Employee:
Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 102 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off.
One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9,430 days off work or notify our office and your next pay cheque will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,224 months.
Sincerely,
Automated Payroll Processing
Virus AlertThere is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propogated throughthe email system. If you get an email message with the subject: "VIRUSALERT!" do not open the mail message. If you do, the virus scramblesthe second half of every text file on your system.VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing dlkfjaiddfdjas nairb gfdq40wt yaj asdfsdg dluog av da[agj asdfajpg asdflasidffnm asd difvu asdfa vgoiae vdsofj we dasdf 9efm sd dag0 g adfjdl5gkj dkllj djf hsas9kaj kuieh nx3glkj gkdls kd li8siue ghkld hks1as dg 0vbwe ads gwefawe ads vewerwe dsf!