Concern Jokes / Recent Jokes

For those of you who question whether you are in love, in lust, or really married, the following descriptions may help to clear things up.
Love - When intercourse is called - making love.
Lust - When intercourse is called - screwing.
Marriage - What's intercourse?
Love - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust - When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage - When you lose your child in a crowded room.
Love - When you share everything you own.
Lust - When you steal everything they own.
Marriage - When the bank owns everything.
Love - When it doesn't matter if you don't reach a climax.
Lust - When the relationship ends if you don't reach a climax.
Marriage - What's a climax?
Love - When you phone each other just to say Hi.
Lust - When you phone each other to choose a hotel room.
Marriage - When you phone each other to bitch.
Love - When you write poems about your partner.
Lust - When all you write is more...

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST- When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.
LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
There really is one.
LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.
LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When. . . uh. . . what's a climax?
LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a more...

Whilst being accosted by a certain aggressive Fundamentalist sect the other day it dawned on me that the major world's religions have fundamental mindsets, styles, and procedures not unlike those of popularly-known businesses. For example, consider the world's major religions:
HINDUISM: Much like an import market -- a wide variety of curios, trinkets, bizarre weapons, and grotesque statuary; colorful, gaudy, elaborate, and of questionable taste. The building has several floors but there are no stairs between them.
BUDDHISM: An arts shop with a range of elegant and sophisticated curios pleasing to the eye and harmonious to the mind, though not necessarily of much practical use. However, you must buy one of everything. .. but if you just want to browse, that's OK too.
JUDAISM: A large banking concern that's been in the family for generations. Plush carpet, nice leather chairs, memorabilia of the past arranged on the walls; generally they prefer to deal with insiders but more...

For convenience sake, an elderly married couple scheduled their annual physical examinations to take place on the same day.
After examining the elderly man, the doctor said, "You appear to be in good health. Are there any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?"
"Yes, doctor, there is one," replied the elderly man. "After I make love to my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
"That's quite interesting," replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you."
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Are there any medical concerns you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady assured the doctor that she didn't have any questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked, "Your husband had quite an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually more...

Dear Santa,
We're worried about you. From your rosy red cheeks to your
legendary girth to your all-night sleigh ride around the world,
you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, mishaps and lawsuits
that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts.
The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society in
Barrington, Illinois. Dermatologist Dr. Jerome Litt says you have
"a clear-cut case of rosacea," a skin condition that also affects
millions of Americans, particularly at middle age. Unable to
examine you personally, the good doctor based his finding on a
well-circulated report that your "cheeks were like roses, (your)
nose like a cherry."
Sadly, many observers conclude that red-skin condition comes from
hitting the Christmas-punch bowl a little too hard. Sadder still,
rosacea can be aggravated by holiday stress, hot chocolate and
overexertion... all things you may encounter this time more...