Concerned Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot.
Not knowing what to do, she called 911. “You gotta help me find my parrot! ”
The operator patiently replied, “We can’t help you with that, ma’am. This number only deals with emergencies. ”
However, the lady persisted, and then the operator told her not to be concerned, that the parrot should fly back in a few days.
Then, out of desperation, the lady begged, “But you don’t understand! The only thing he says is ‘Here, kitty, kitty’!!! ”

The millionaire was concerned when liquor started vanishing from the mansion shortly after he hired a new butler.
Confronted with his employer's suspicions, the butler said, "I ll have you know I come from a long line of honest Englishmen."
Smelling alcohol on the butler's breath, the* millionaire said, "To be very frank, it's not your English forebears which concerns me but your Scotch extraction."

Osama Cave Memo===============Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours, but we've really come together as a group, and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team," as well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly, I have a few concerns. First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening. Second, it's not often I make a video address, but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks. Third point, and this is a touchy one. As more...

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, Is your Daddy home?
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the all voice whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "no".
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" more...

A prostitute was visiting a colleague who was in the hospital to undergo a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's wellbeing, the prostitute spoke with the surgeon. "Doctor, I'm concerned about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?" she asked.
"Well, apart from her heart, she's 32 years old and is in extremely good health," replied the surgeon. "How long has she been in the business?"
"She's been working since the age of 18, but what does that have to do with anything?" the friend inquired.
"If she's been working for 14 years and hasn't rejected an organ, I doubt she's about to start now!" replied the surgeon.

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin in the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and hadn't been seen for five days. The elderly woman who ran the resort got concerned about the welfare of the newlyweds, and sent her husband to check on them. The husband knocks on the door of the cabin, and a weak voice from inside answers.

The old man asks, "Are you young folks all right?"

"Yes, we're fine," the man answered. We're living on the fruits of love."

The old man replied, "I kinda figured that. Say...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"

One little Atheist boy`s parents were very concerned about his grades in school. They noticed that his study habits were poor, that he wouldn`t concentrate, and that he had zero initiative as far as homework was concerned, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. They noticed an immediate improvement in his overall school performance, especially in math. Every day he would come home from school and promptly head upstairs and begin studying his numbers. Amazed, his parents asked him what it was that motivated him to study so hard. "Is it that the Nuns are so strict with you getting your schoolwork finished?", they asked. "No." said the boy. "Is it that the subjects they are giving you are challenging to you?" "No." responded the boy. "What is it, then, that makes you so eager to study at this new school?" they queried. "Well," said the boy, "my very first day of school at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion, I was more...