Condiments Jokes / Recent Jokes

More than 32 Million Americans Could Benefit
MIAMI, FL, March 31 -- Burger King Corporation today announced the launch of the new Left Handed WHOPPER, which will become available nationwide tomorrow. America's most preferred premium hamburger will feature the trademark build of lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, mayonnaise, ketchup and 4-ounce flame broiled hamburger patty, but the newly designed sandwich has been re-engineered to fit more comfortably in the left hand, thereby reducing condiment "spills" for left-handed hamburger lovers. It is estimated that more than 1. 4 million left-handed customers visit U. S. Burger King restaurants each day.
The new left-handed sandwich will have all condiments rotated 180 degrees, thereby redistributing the weight of the sandwich so that the bulk of the condiments will skew to the left, thereby reducing the amount of lettuce and other toppings from spilling out the right side of the burger.
"We have always been more...

This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU's, no screaming
disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man
for life.
I had a 9:00 meeting with my sales rep. I needed to buy an entire new
series 70, the works. He said it'd take about an hour. Three hours
later, we'd barely got the datacomm hardware down on paper, so he
invited me downstairs for lunch.
This was my first experience in an HP cafeteria. Above the service
counter was a menu which began...
MMU's (Main Menu Units)
0001A Burger. Includes sesame-seed bun.
Must order condiments 00110A separately
001Deletes seeds.
002 Expands burger to two patties.
00020A Double cheeseburger, preconfigured. Includes cheese,
bun and condiments.
001 Add-on bacon.
002 Delete second patty.
003 Replaces second patty with extra cheese.
00021A Burger Upgrade to Double Cheeseburger
001 From Single Burger.
002 From Double Burger.
003 more...