Includes Jokes

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with candy, they cancel each other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Dazs ice cream.
5. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes (but is not limited to) Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
6. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
7. If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
8. If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
9. Food eaten at Christmas parties has 0 calories, courtesy of Santa.
10. STRESSED is just more...

I just started a forum.. which grabs selected videos from youtube. . includes all time great comedy scenes from MohanLal, Mukesh, Sreenivasan, Jagathy.. and a lot.. also it includes all time hit songs of 80s and 90s plus some additional stuffs like Crazy Cricket moments, Guiness Books Of Records and all.... enjoy guys: )

Herewith is a compendium of movie clichés, stereotypes, obligatory scenes, hackneyed formulas, shopworn conventions and outdated archetypes. The author says that as you go to enough different movies, you start to notice things. Like how every time there's a chase scene in an exotic locale, a fruit cart gets overturned. Or how whenever the hero knocks out a Nazi sentry and puts on his uniform, the uniform is a perfect fit. Or how there are plots that would be over in five minutes, if all characters weren't idiots. Actress Inferior Position - In movie sex scenes, which are usually directed by men, the POV (Point of View) at the moment of climax is almost always the man's, so that we see the actress, not the actor, losing control. AC-WAT-NOBI Movie - A Cop With A Theory No One Believes In. Against All Odds Rule - In an apparently fatal situation from which there is no possible hope of survival, it is certain the characters will survive. In a situation where there is any apparent chance more...

Notice to Employees (Includes Part Time Workers)

SICKNESS
We will no longer accept your doctors statements as proof. We
believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are
employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and
should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as
you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you
less than we bargained for. Anyone having operations will be
FIRED immediately.

PREGNANCY
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go
to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINUTES apart.
IF it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave
without pay.

DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two
weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone more...

Top Ten Signs You Know You've Joined A Redneck HMO... Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape. The only 100% covered expense is embalming. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m's on each pill. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day". Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park". The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's.