Congress Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Russian governor encouraged workers to stay home and make love to help boost the nation’s dwindling birth rate. And to help raise money to recharge the U.S. economy, the Speaker of the House urged every member of Congress to return to their home states and screw the middle class!

Congress says Obama can have health care reform. But there will be a $1 trillion co-pay.

A recent study found that people tend to spend more when they are sad.

If that's true, we have a lot of depressed people in Congress.

I wrote these for our campus humor paper before Christmas break. Some are
UCSD specific, like our new rule banning "fighting words." Some were written
before Romania revolted. And some might be offensive. Bearing that in
mind...
The first arrest under the new "fighting words" policy was made. A
reggae group performing in the Price Center was arrested after singing a song
calling for the end to apartheid in South Africa and whipping up student
fervor. A spokesperson for the police said that the Regents could not tolerate
anyone claiming the world wasn't as kind and gentle as President Bush had
officially declared it was.
The federal government completed the phasing out of lobbying in Congress,
calling it a serious breach of democracy and not in the best interests of the
nation. It will be replaced by a series of public auctions where both
senators' and representatives' votes will be sold to the highest more...

Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps?
A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!

Dennis Hastert was reportedly aware of Congressman Foley's behavior when his top aide returned to tell him that the pages were stuck together.

Iowa rep Steve King apologized for saying the 72 virgins waiting for deceased terrorist al-Zarqawi "probably all look like" White House Press Corps reporter Helen Thomas. Explained King, "Obviously Helen hasn't looked like a virgin for about 60 years."