Connecticut Jokes

You Know You're From Connecticut When...
You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.
You never went to a bar in high school.
You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.
You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm
You actually thought that Hartford was big
You or someone you know has attended UCONN
You drive a JETTA
You still think that the Whalers are cool.
You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.
There is a farm within miles of your house
You thought bars were really for people over 21
Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.
You don't have an accent when you talk.
You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.
You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.
UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different
You have deer in your backyard.
You didn't more...

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY A repeat offender got alife sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Martstore. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard - which turned hispetty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than threeyears ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for lifewithout the possibility of parole.INSULT TO INJURY An unemployed sanitationworker in Miami is also facing life in prison - for shooting himself in the privates. Ina drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun wentoff, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someoneelse had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in hisunderwear. Cops ruled the shooting accidental, but the man more...

BETTER HOLD ON TO THOSE PANTIES...THEY COULD COME IN HANDY
A repeat offender got a life sentence for a small-time shoplifting caper in Jupiter, Florida. The man stole $49.73 worth of boxer shorts, panties, a sports bra and some cigarette lighters from a Wal-Mart store. His fatal mistake was flashing a knife at a security guard - which turned his petty theft into a felony. Since the man had been released from prison less than three years ago, Florida's repeat offender law required the judge to send him away for life without the possibility of parole.
INSULT TO INJURY
An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is also facing life in prison - for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot him, but changed his story after paramedics found the shell casing in his underwear. Cops ruled the shooting more...

Dumb Connecticut laws and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.

Connecticut Crazy Law You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out!
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.

The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed)

It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.

No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.

Devon It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Guilford Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display. Hartford You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday. New Britain It is illegal for fire trucks more...

Some 40% of female gas station employees in Metro Detroit are women, up from almost none a year ago.
- Detroit News article
Marijuana Issue Sent To A Joint Committee
- Toronto Star headline
Publicize your business absolutely free! Send $6.
- Entrepreneur Magazine ad
Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out
- The Tallahassee Bugle
Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs
- The Anchorage, Alaska Times
Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming
- The New Haven, Connecticut Register
Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters
- The Tallahassee Democrat
Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely!
- The Houston Chronicle
Governor's Penis Busy [should be "Pen Is"]
- The New Haven, Connecticut Register
Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son
- The Arkansas Plainsman
Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands
- Bangor Maine News
Starr Aghast more...