Constipated Jokes / Recent Jokes
A nun entered the local liquor store and asked the clerk to give her a pint of brandy.
"I'm sorry, Sister," the clerk replied, "I couldn't do that. I've never sold alcohol to a nun."
"It's for the Mother Superior," the nun explained. "She's constipated and brandy seems to help."
So, the clerk agreed to sell her the brandy.
When he closed the store later that night, he found the nun sitting out on the curb, totally inebriated, singing and laughing to herself.
"Sister, shame on you!" he scolded. "You told me the brandy was for the Mother Superior's constipation."
"It is, young man, it is," replied the nun, slurring her words. "She is constipated and when she sees me, she's gonna shit herself."
Two friends were talking.
The first one said to the other, "Hey, have you seen the movie, "Constipated" yet?"
The other replied, "Of course not! It hasn't come out yet."
Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A. He worked it out with a pencil.
One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of hiswarriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "BigChief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chiefshould be fine tomorrow.The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morningthe warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief.The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet againsaying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives thewarrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):"Big shit, no chief".
The five most constipated people in the Bible:
1. Cain-who wasn't able.
2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.
3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.
4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.
5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.
The five most constipated people in the Bible:1. Cain-who wasn't able.2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.
One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of hiswarriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "BigChief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chiefshould be fine tomorrow. The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morningthe warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief. The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet againsaying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives thewarrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief. The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):"Big shit, no chief".