Contest Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and began. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightening strikes, taking out the electricity.
Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then, " says God, "Let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How more...

Two great winners of a riddle contest decide to have a match. One is the grand riddle king, while the other is a youngster who was avenging his father.
His father had lost a contest, and had been killed.
The old riddle king says,"You may not go inside the temple. You are too young and you are not sacred enough." The youngster answers," You may not go outside the temple. You are too old and so sacred that you should stay inside."
Moral: Treat others with courtesy, sometimes.

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God the Father as the judge.
They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously - lines and lines of code steaming up the screen. They keep at it for several hours straight. Just seconds before the end of the competition, a huge bolt of lightning strikes wiping out all the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God the Father announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God the Father, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and his screen comes to full life in a beautiful vivid display. Just then the voices of an angelic choir begin to pour forth from the more...

Jesus and Satan have an extended argument as to who is the better computer programmer. Finally, they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin programming. Typing furiously for several hours, they enter lines of code streaming across the screen.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest has ended.
God asks Satan to show what he has done. Satan is visibly upset and cries, "I have done nothing! The power outage destroyed all of my work!" "Very well, then," says God, "let us see how Jesus fared." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid displays of 3-D color. The voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is stunned and stutters, "But how?! How did he do that?!"
God chuckles, "Jesus Saves!"

Jesus and Satan have an extended argument as to who is the better computer programmer. Finally, they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin programming. Typing furiously for several hours, they enter lines of code streaming across the screen.Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest has ended.God asks Satan to show what he has done. Satan is visibly upset and cries, "I have done nothing! The power outage destroyed all of my work!" "Very well, then," says God, "let us see how Jesus fared." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid displays of 3-D color. The voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is stunned and stutters, "But how?! How did he do that?!"God chuckles, "Jesus Saves!"

Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy.I call mine Sex Now Sex has been embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking around. I told him that I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand" I said, "I had planned to have Sex on T.V." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married!!" The Judge said, "Me too". Then I told him that after I was married that Sex had left me. He said "Me too". Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 O'clock in the morning. I said looking more...

Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Lassie. I called mine Sex.
Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex.
He said "I would like to have one too" then I said "but this is a dog"
He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said "but you don't understand I have had Sex since I was 9 years old.
He replied that I must have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for me and my wife and a separate room for Sex.
He said every room in this place is for sex.
I said "you don't understand" Sex keeps me awake all night and the clerk replied "me too".
I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was standing there looking around. I told more...