Contestants Jokes

If you want to be America's premier "American Flatulator," you've got to have it... gas, that is. And if you're pumped up for the challenge, you'll have to let yourself go in a series of hilarious, explosive events that are sure to clear the air - and maybe the room - about who's really full of it. The events include:
POWER BALLOON
"American Flatulators" and the challengers face off in a rip-roaring, cheek-to-cheek competition designed to separate the big boomers from the little bags of wind. The object behind POWER BALLOON is that each contestant must fill a heavy gauge balloon with his or her own natural gas until the durable plastic sack becomes too pooped and pops. Each contestant uses their own unique technique to fill 'er up. Winner takes all! No ifs, and or butts.
DON'T PASS THE GAS
This contest demands real endurance. Opponents use giant Q-Tip like pugel sticks (as in Pee UUU) to try and knock the farts out of each other. The winner is the more...

It seems that historical religious leaders (between moments of dispensing wisdom) had also learned software programming.
One day, a great contest was held to test their skills.
After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day's event: Jesus and Mohammed.
The judge described the software application required for the final test, and gave the signal to start writing code.
The two contestants feverishly typed away on their keyboards. Routines, classes, applets and applications flew on their screens at incredible speeds. Windows, dialogs, and other intricate graphics began forming on their monitors. The clock showed that the contest would soon be finished.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightening flashed and the power went out.
After a moment it came back on - just in time for the clock to indicate that the last competition was over.
The judge asked the two contestants to reveal their finished software. Mohammed angrily said more...

Q: Why were there only 49 contestants at the Miss Ebonics USA pageant? A: No one wanted to stand up and say.. . Idaho...

Trouble is brewing in paradise.

The new season of Survivor is already experiencing difficulties with it's contestants. Producers have stated that the Asian team has opened up 3 nail salons and a All You Can Eat Buffet, the Hispanic team has multiplied from 5 contestants to 28, the Black team called in sick, and the White team is happy as long as the Asians, Hispanics, and Blacks stay off of their side of the island.

It seems that historical religious leaders (between moments of dispensing wisdom) had also learned software programming.
One day, a great contest was held to test their skills.
After days and days of fierce competition, only two leaders remained for the last day's event: Jesus and Mohammed.
The judge described the software application required for the final test, and gave the signal to start writing code.
The two contestants feverishly typed away on their keyboards. Routines, classes, applets and applications flew on their screens at incredible speeds. Windows, dialogs, and other intricate graphics began forming on their monitors. The clock showed that the contest would soon be finished.
Suddenly, a bolt of lightening flashed and the power went out.
After a moment it came back on - just in time for the clock to indicate that the last competition was over.
The judge asked the two contestants to reveal their finished software. Mohammed angrily said that he'd more...