Contractions Jokes / Recent Jokes

Feeling the Baby Move
First Child: I placed my hand on my wife's tummy every
chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could
feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment,
when I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell
them about the blessed experience.
Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called
me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included
the experience in all of our letters to our family.
Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I
would check it out during the next commercial break. I missed out because
her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night
football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move.
Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to
sleep. I turned to her and said "Can't you make your tummy stay still? I'm
trying to sleep." When it more...

This woman, who believed in natural birth, was having these abnormal contractions, went to see her Doctor. "Doc", she said, "I'm feeling these abnormal contractions". The Doctor took a listen, and said: "My dear lady, you`re going to be having triplets!" Baffled, the woman asked: "How can you tell?" The Doctor responded: "I hear inside: "No, you go first!" "No, you go first!" No, you go first!"

A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart! ” “Is this her first child? ” the emergency operator asked. “No, you idiot! ” the man shouted. “This is her husband! ”