Contractor Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him.

When the contractor comes to her house they do a walk-through and he asks her what colors she would like. When they come to the living room, she tolls him that she would like a nice and warm cream color.

The contractor writes something down on his pad then walks to the window and yells "Greenside up."

The lady gets a little confused, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark."

The contractor writes something down on his pad again, then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!"

The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here."

The contractor writes something on his pad and more...

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP! "In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room.

As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color."

The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue."

Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything.

In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side more...

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP! “In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP! ” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP! ” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’? ”
“I’m sorry, ” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street. ”

3 contractors are in a bar after work enjoying a cold one, when a truck crashes into the bar killing all of them. They are at the pearly gates and Saint Peter say's "This is perfect the gates need repair and I can get three estimates" He asks the first contractor Bubba what it would take to fix the gates. Bubba walks over to the gates, inspects them, measures them and gives Saint peter an estimate of $750.
Saint Peter says thank you and asks the next contractor for an estimate. He walks over to the gates, inspects them, measures them and gives Saint Peter an estimate of $1500, and tells him I won't make a dime off this.
Saint Peter says thank you and asks the next contractor for an estimate. Anthony quickly gives Saint Peter a price of $2750. Saint Peter asks Anthony how he could come up with an estimate of two thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars without even inspecting or measuring the gates.
Anthony replys, It's easy Saint Peter, $1000 for you, $1000 more...

Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. "I'd like the bathroom done in white!" Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, "Green up! Green up!" "I want the bedroom in blue!" continued the woman. The contractor listened and yelled out the window, "Green up! Green up!" "The halls should be done in beige!" she instructed. Again, the man barked out the window, "Green up! Green up!" "Will you stop that?!" shouted the woman. "Every time I give you a color, all you do is shout' Green up!' What the devil does that mean?"' Tm real sorry, ma'am!" explained Corbett. "But I got three Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin' to put in the front lawn!"