Convention Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie.
"12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months."
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and more...

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie."12 years? We build 'em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build 'em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only more...

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts.
As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.
After dinner, one thing leads to
another and they end up in her hotel bedroom.
Just as things get hot, the female doc interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back, they go for it.
After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands.
As she comes back the male doc says, "I bet you are a surgeon."
She confirms, and asks how he knew.
"Easy, he said, you're always washing your hands."
"That's very clever!" she says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist."
"Wow, how did you guess?" he asked.
"I didn't feel a thing!" she replied.

Three accountants and three engineers are travelling by train to a convention. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers buy only one ticket. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" one of the accountants asks. "Watch and you'll see," an engineer says.
They all board the train. The three accountants take their respective seats, but the three engineers cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants watched this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So, after the convention, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money.
They all arrive at the station and the three more...

So this guy wants to find a gimmick so he finds a gimmick selling tooth brushes. At one of the conventions one of the guys said i sold 5 thousand tooth brushes and the other guy said i sold 10 thousand tooth brushes and then the gimmick guy stands up and says i sold 4 tooth brushes. One of the guys says just 4. yup just 4 he replies. so after the convention the manager talks to him and says hey you gotta find a gimmick ya know we all got gimmicks, so he says ok. And in the next convention one guy says i sold 50 thousand tooth brushes and the other guy says i sold 100 thousand tooth brushes and the gimmick guy stands up and says well i sold 4 million tooth brushes and the worker says you mean 4? NO, 4 million so the worker asked well how did you do that? Well i went to the mall set up a stand got some chips and some dip. a shopper tastes and says " wow this tastes like shit. The gimmick guy replies it is wanna buy a toothbrush?

A lady on the airplane strikes up a conversation with the fellow sitting in the next seat, ".. and where are you going?"

"I`m going to San Francisco to a Unix convention," he replies.

"Eunuchs convention?" she questions. "I didn`t know there were that many of you."

A man takes his seat on a plane to Chicago and realizes the woman next to him is hot.

“Business trip or vacation?” he asks.

“Business,” she replies. “The annual sex convention.”

“What are you doing there?”

“Giving a lecture about the myths and truths of sexuality,” she answers.

“Like what?” asks the guy.

“People think African men are the most endowed, but it’s actually Native American men,” she says. “And another myth is that Frenchmen are the best kissers, when it’s actually men of Jewish descent. Also, a recent survey found that Cajuns are the best lovers of any ethnicity.”

Blushing, the woman adds, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying all this. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” says the man. “Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Boudreaux.”