Conversation Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT
The Woman Discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
The Man discovered WORD and invented CONVERSATION
The Woman Discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP
The Man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS
The Woman Discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY
The Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD
The Woman Discovered FOOD and invented DIET
The Man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE
The Woman Discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE
The Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY
The Woman Discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING
Thereafter Man has discovered and invented a lot of things. .....
While the Woman STUCK to shopping. .........

The Yuppette witnessed a neighbor lighting her Menorah candle each night & at first chance, engaged the lady in conversation. Her Jewish neighbor explained both the Holiday & the tradition.The subject of the conversation turned to their children.
The Yuppette bragged how she had raised a doctor and a banker.The Jewish neighbor said that she had only one son who was a Rabbi.The Yuppette exclaimed, "A Rabbi? ?? What kind of a job is that for a smart Jewish boy? "

Conversation over dinner: WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry? MAN: Okay, I'd get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) MAN: (makes audible groan) WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed? MAN: Where else would we sleep? WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs? MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed. WOMAN: - - - silence - - - MAN: Oh Shit.

The man discovered WEAPONS and invented HUNTING,
the woman discovered HUNTING and invented FURS.
The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.
The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
the woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
the woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
the woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.
The man discovered WOMEN and invented SEX,
the woman discovered SEX and invented HEADACHES.
The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
the woman discovered MONEY and that's when it all got f#@$ed up.

A CONVERSATION
A cucumber and a pickle are having a conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber,
"You know my life really sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings over me and stick me in a jar."
So the cucumber says,
"yeah, you think that is bad, whenever I get big, fat and juicy they slice me up and they put me over salad."

So the penis is walking by and overhears their conversation and says,
"You think that your life is tough?! Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they put a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, smelly room, and make me do push ups until I throw up!"

Four international executives are playing golf. On the third hole a ringing sound is heard. The British golfer fumbles in his bag, picks out his cellular phone, turns away from his partners and has a brief conversation.
“Terribly sorry chaps, but one has to keep one’s finger on the pulse and all that. ” His companions murmur acknowledgment.
On the fourth hole there is another ring. The American says “excuse me”, places his thumb to his ear and holds his pinkie near his mouth, and has an intense conversation. He turns back to the bewildered group.
“Oh, this is the latest thing on the Coast, ” he says “I’ve got a microphone grafted into my pinkie and a receiver in my thumb. It’s really convenient. ”
They play on for a few more holes, at which point there is a loud ring. The German, who had been leaning over his putt, snaps to attention. “Ja, verstehen, verstehen, ja, ja. Auf Wiedersehen. ” He snaps back to normal.
“This is really the more...

To find out, Take this handy quiz:
You have prepared a proposal for your supervisor. The success of this
proposal will mean increasing your salary 20%. In the middle of your
proposal your supervisor leans over to look at your report and spits into
your
coffee.
You:
A. Tell him you take your coffee black.
(b) Ask him if he has any communicable diseases.
(c) Show him who's in command; promptly take a piss in his "In"
basket.
(d) Take a sip and comment how much better it tastes.
You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an
uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Since this is definitely a no-no,
you:
A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one
fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up
to the 4th joint.
(b) Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a
prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
(c) Drop your napkin on the more...